As I sit here and write, it is way past my bed time, but my thoughts will not currently allow me to sleep. Rarely is my sleep stolen away by my melancholy thoughts and emotions, however, that personality inclination has a tendency to flare up from time to time.
Ever have a day where everything is a little bit sadder, where you feel great compassion for people who you are around often, but don’t usually feel that way toward them? You know…that guy that you see at church who really has no friends or family and is going through a tough time? You think about how you should be reaching out to him, but you get “so busy”. What about when you just can’t stop thinking about your family and all the memories that are shelved in the pantry of your mind? You try to sleep but you just can’t stop sifting through the times past. You pray that they are okay but you really wish you could just wrap your arms around them. Ever have a day where you hold your spouse a little tighter in thankfulness and gratitude? Where you ponder about the remainder of your life together and what God has in store for you.
That has been my condition today. I know it is just one of the ways that God sometimes realigns our life perspectives. I know much of it has to do with the fact that we are in the final days before our little boy will be with his forever family and it has been a long wait to get to this point. We both want so badly to bring Simeon home and take care of him and give him all that he would ever need, but more waiting remains and it can take a bit of a toll. Deep down you don’t really want to have emotional times like this, but I believe they are often God ordained. He is teaching us what love is and is really preparing our hearts for more of Him. He is preparing us for the rest of our lives. This is just a reflective pause and review I guess.
